


Don’t Wake The Wolf

by QueenOfRohirrim



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Brothers, Eskel and Geralt are brats, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:33:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23926951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfRohirrim/pseuds/QueenOfRohirrim
Summary: Lambert falls asleep on the couch.Eskel and Geralt decide to have a bit of fun.Vesemir and Jaskier do not approve.
Relationships: Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Lambert, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 9
Kudos: 324





	Don’t Wake The Wolf

“Geralt...Psst! Geralt!”

The silver witcher grunted, opening his eyes to a room that was still quite dark.

A quick glance toward the window told him that the sun had barely begun to rise. Yet here was Eskel to drag him out of an unusually peaceful sleep.

“The fuck do you want?” He growled at his brother. “Get out.”

A closed door was certainly not an invitation to waltz uninvited into someone else’s chambers, but of course that never stopped either of his siblings. Really, Geralt shouldn’t have been surprised.

“Come on, Geralt.” Eskel pleaded from the doorway. “Don’t be a dick. Get up and come with me.”

Geralt growled low in his throat. He didn’t want to move, but if Eskel kept talking, he’d wake Jaskier too.

“Hurry up!” His brother urged him as he slowly climbed from the bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping human next to him.

Again, Geralt growled.

“Alright, alright, I got it. You’re pissed.” Eskel assured him. “But I’ve got something to show you that’ll remedy that.”

“I doubt it.” The white wolf snarled, following his brother down to the main hall. 

“Shh, watch your step and don’t make a sound.” Eskel began to whisper again as they came to the end of the long corridor before the common area.

“Hmm.” Geralt grunted in return. At this point he didn’t really care why they had to be silent. He just wanted to be done with it and go back to bed.

Then they came upon Lambert, asleep on the couch next to Vesemir’s chair, and suddenly Geralt did have a slight change of heart.

“Drunk?” He hummed at Eskel, who was sniggering wickedly at the sleeping wolf.

“Naw,” The scarred witcher shook his head. “Little prick just conked out here last night. Probably doing all he could to get on Vesemir’s nerves.”

“Sounds like him.” Geralt agreed. “What’ll it be then?”

“Stay here.” Eskel grinned at him, flashing teeth. “I’ve got just the thing...”

“Hmm.” Geralt hummed in agreement, watching their little brother drooling in his sleep while Eskel crept off down another hall.

He almost felt bad for whatever they were about to do, but then he remembered Lambert’s continued taunts over dinner the night before and the guilt immediately faded.

“He didn’t move did he?” Eskel whispered, returning with a fresh bottle of writing ink in hand. “If he starts to move, he’ll be waking up soon.”

“Not moving.” Geralt hummed. “Drooling though. A lot.”

“Yeah, he does that.” Eskel giggled, trying to keep the louder laughter in check. “Here, Geralt. You go first.” He offered, handing the ink over to his brother. “Do your worst.”

“Gladly.” The white witcher accepted, finally cracking a hint of a smile as he approached the couch.

Lambert had had the courtesy to pass out without a shirt, which gave Geralt and Eskel a much larger canvas.

They were both quite pleased with this, and Geralt made the first mark right across the center of the younger witcher’s chest.

“Write something good!” Eskel urged him.

“Shh!” Geralt hushed him, continuing his work until he’d spelled out TWAT in tall, bold letters.

Eskel was having a difficult time controlling his laughter now, coming forward to have his turn.

He went for the face, painting Lambert’s eyebrows to make them look permanently sinister and giving him a ridiculous looking mustache as well.

“No more on the face.” Geralt warned him after the second drawing was done. “You’ll wake him. Let me try again.”

Eskel stepped back, passing the ink to Geralt again as he bit his lip to hold in a cackle. 

The stoic wolf stopped to think for a moment, weighing his options carefully, and was then struck with a brilliant idea.

Eskel was nearly on the floor when his brother revealed his masterpiece. 

The same bold, tall letters as the first marking he’d done were trailed across the skin near the waist band of Lambert’s trousers. This time however, they spelled out RUNT.

As the wording was perched right above his cock, the implication couldn’t be missed.

“Fuck, Geralt!” Eskel sucked in a sharp breath, holding it to try and keep himself quiet. 

“Shut up!” His brother growled, punching him in the shoulder when he returned the ink.

Eskel could hardly hold himself together to write anymore but he managed one last time.

Geralt snarled when he saw the new letters over Lambert’s naval.

BARD 

Eskel had completed his creation by drawing a heart around their little brother’s cold and distant title for Jaskier.

“That’s enough.” Geralt hissed.

“Lighten up.” The dark haired wolf continued to chuckle. “Lambert will be livid! That’s all that matters.”

Geralt shoved him over before turning to go back to his own room. “Put the ink back where you found it.” He advised his brother, who was wheezing with laughter now, still trying not to be too loud.

...

Vesemir didn’t look pleased at all when his two oldest pups filed into the dining hall later that morning, Jaskier at their heels.

He had already begun lecturing them the moment he’d gotten a look at poor Lambert, still asleep on his couch. 

“I’m surprised at you, Geralt!” The bard ranted at his lover, his hands on his hips as he followed the two guilty witchers closely. “And you, Eskel! Here I thought you were the reasonable one! Shame on you both!”

“I’d like to know where you rooted that ink from.” Vesemir chimed in, sending a glare at both of his boys from his seat at the head of the table. 

Geralt nodded to Eskel. He wasn’t taking the blame for that particular crime.

“How many times have I told you to stay out of my stores?” Vesemir questioned Eskel, who lowered his head shamefully.

“It was just a bit of fun,” He tried.

“I’m not going to rescue the two of you when your brother discovers this “bit of fun”.” Vesemir told both him and Geralt firmly.

Jaskier nodded his approval of the verdict.

“Cruel! Attacking a man while he sleeps...And your own family too! Is nothing sacred, Geralt!?”

“Hush.” Geralt grunted. 

“Hush!?” Jaskier demanded. “Hush!? No, I most certainly will not hush! In fact, I’ll raise my voice all I’d like! You can’t just command me like I’m some servant here to wait on you, Geralt!”

Lambert stepped into the doorway of the dining hall then, having been woken by Jaskier’s outraged shouting.

“The fuck’s going on?” He muttered groggily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

He saw the ink left on his hand when he pulled it away, and his eyes immediately found Eskel’s and then Geralt’s.

The three stared at each other for a long time, not moving, and not saying a word.

It was quite an uncomfortable silence until Lambert turned and ran off in the direction of the stairs and Geralt and Eskel jumped up to escape out of the kitchen doors.

“Where did...?” Jaskier started to ask before something crashed to the floor and shattered upstairs.

This was followed by screaming and language so foul that just hearing it had the bard blushing bright red.

“A mirror.” Vesemir sighed. “He went to find a mirror.”

“Oh my...” Jaskier swallowed hard. 

Truly Geralt did deserve to be punished but now he was quite worried for his witcher.


End file.
